Its all just too much and I don't know what to do.

Hi there kids,

I devote this blog to you simply because you all have been on my mind lately.
I have a really tough decision to make and I'm not sure what to do.

These past 6 months have been really hard on me. I've been struggling with financial issues, the emotional turmoil of the family rejecting me and a lot of sickness.
Well, the financial problems are really getting to be a problem where I'm having issues taking care of myself while taking care of you kids.
I don't want to get into the details of finances, but I've done everything I can to keep us afloat, but I'm running out of options.

I can cover you kids and make sure you have a home, but I am left with nothing. I am running a month behind my rent and I'm running out of food.
I want to stay right here next to you kids, since I love you all so dearly, but I haven't been getting many job offers that can allow me to do so.
My father offered me a place to retreat to, so that I can rebuild my life, but that is way out in Colorado.

This scares me kids.
I want to be right next to you. I want to see you everyday. I want to be there for your first day of school Brighton and I want to be there to hear Elise say "I love you Daddy".
But nothing in this world is for free and I need to make sure that I don't default on the van loan and that you have a home to live in.

Your mom and I have been fighting a bit more and more and I think that we see each other a bit too often and it causes stress between us.

I'm trying to decide what is the right thing to do. Should I take the opportunity to move out to Dad's and get resettled in my own life, or should I stick around until I have absolutely nothing left?

I just can't stand the thought of being away from my beloved children.

I love you kids so much and this decision breaks my heart.