Ah well, what can you do?

Honestly, it wasn't a shocker at all. I got a Facebook message from Emily earlier this week with the subliminal message of "We should talk..."
After an exchange of messages and one conversation, we both agreed that she wasn't ready to pursue a relationship at this time. I guess her ex-boyfriend made her realize she wasn't ready to get into another. Believe me Emily, I understand.

I'm not broke up about it though. She is a nice girl, but something deep down told me that she wasn't in the position to be able to accommodate me in her life. I knew it, but I think I just waited for her to realize it too.

Emily, it was nice getting to know you and I had a wonderful time that evening, I appreciate the whole experience.

Now moving onward...

This blog reminds me of a Foreigner song

As part of my semi-regular routine, I called Brian on the way home from work. We generally talk about life, love and all the other junk in between. Last night was no different. It seems that Brian has met yet another girl on OkCupid. It's pretty amazing how well he seems to do on the online dating sites. He always has something lined up.

Anyways, as he was beginning to describe this girl, I began to notice a tone in his voice that I haven't heard since we were both 15. When we were both in our mid teens, Brian had met this girl at a District Assembly. She was from somewhere far up north in Maine and I remember Brian once describing an almost electric attraction to this girl when he reached out and touched her:

"I could feel sparks Nate when I touched her!"

I had completely forgotten about that 15 year old exchange up until Brian started talking last night. There was this intensity while he was speaking that made me realize Brian was feeling something new for the first time. I was really happy for him, but at the same time, it left me wondering about myself...

I don't think I've ever had a feeling of such intensity toward any girl I've met. Not Kelly, Anna-Lynn, Tammy, Gretchen, Helen, Jennifer or Emily. Never. Honestly, that kinda made me start to ponder.
Have I just never met the right one? Sure, I've met a LOT of nice girls that I liked. I mean, I married one. But looking back, I don't think I've ever been crazy for one. Should I feel sad about that? I'm turning 32 this month and I've never been head-over-heels for a girl before? I'm wondering if I've been settling my whole life.

Hmmmmm...