Last Wednesday when I went down to see the kids, we decided to take a quick trip to Wal-Mart. Along the way, Elise was doing her thing babbling in the backseat saying "Imma Jehovah Witness."
It was actually really cute since she still struggles pronouncing it correctly.
As she was saying this, Brighton turned around to Elise and passively scolded her and told her to be quiet. This has happened before. I asked Brighton:
"Brighton, why are you telling Elise to be quiet? It's okay."
Brighton got quiet and as I continued to ask, he said that he wasn't allowed to talk about it.
This caught my attention.
Is someone teaching my kid already that he can't talk about spiritual things with me? Am I being shunned by my 7 year old?
I didn't let it go. I told him, "Brighton, you can talk to Daddy about anything you want! Why can't you talk about it?"
"It's a secret. Mom said I shouldn't talk about it."
I see. I didn't press the issue at that time with him, but I decided that I needed to talk to Gretchen.
Fast forward the evening and the kids are in bed. Gretchen gets home and I ask her to take a seat. Gretchen hates confrontation, so I'm sure she was already really nervous.
I told her about the conversation with Brighton and asked her flat out, "Did you tell Brighton that he couldn't talk about Jehovah with me?"
Gretchen began to stumble a little bit with words and finally answered something like,
"Well, I told Brighton that he shouldn't nag you about why you don't go to meetings. I didn't want him to annoy you. I didn't say he COULDN'T talk to you, you know how he gets things mixed up."
She was lying. I've know this woman for years and I knew she wasn't telling me the truth. I was upset.
I've tried to explain over and over again why I don't trust the Organization. I've tried to explain it very simply in order for her to get one small glimpse in how I would feel.
I am not in the wrong to feel that the Organization teaches that we shouldn't associate with "worldly people" let alone ones that leave the faith.
I am disfellowshipped. They teach that we shouldn't have any dealings with them. I am not dumb.
Every time we would have a discussion, Gretchen would say, "Nate, that's not true. They can't take your kids away from you."
Yes Gretchen, they can and do. They've already taken my family away.
She just doesn't get it. She doesn't want to.
Last week though, I told Gretchen exactly why I was upset. I asked her directly, "Gretchen, how would you feel if I told Brighton that he wasn't allowed to tell YOU things or how would you feel if I told Brighton how YOU felt about things? Would you be upset?"
She admitted yes.
I told her that this was a huge breach of trust but she didn't apologize. This only solidified my feelings that this wasn't about "I told Brighton not to pester you about not going to meetings." This was, "Daddy doesn't love Jehovah, so you shouldn't talk about it."
Well, as we talked I could see that my viewpoint and feelings were not being respected. That night, I dissolved my agreement with Gretchen to let her raise them Witnesses without a fight. She asked what that meant and I told her that her faith is a threat to my relationship and that since it was obvious my interests as a father were being threatened, I would fight back.
I told her she was being naive in thinking that the Organization doesn't manipulate children and families. I told her that one day she would see it for what it truly was and she would understand, but it wouldn't be today.
She got upset that I attacked her faith. I did, I did mock her faith. I mock it because it messes people up but they can't see it.
Shortly after shooting words back and forth, she asked me to leave. So I did.
This week, I got an e-mail from Gretchen:
So I spooked your mother and now she doesn't want me in her house. I was upset. Apparently, she can undermine me as a father, but if I attack back, I get penalized. Typical JWs.
Well, going back to my original statement: I feel like I'm in a transitional change when it comes to how I feel about the Witnesses. I once had an uneasy truce, but now...now...they are a spiteful and ignorant people when it comes to reality checks.
Yeah, I'm trying hard to save the kids from this mess.
