Love is not something you believe, love is something you do.

Since I've been neglecting this blog for quite a long time, I might be updating this is small flurries to keep you updated as to what has been going on.

About a year ago, Ian ended up getting a job down in Lexington, KY. Ian seems to be happy with the job and while he's been down there, he's been exploring who he is and what he wants.
He's been struggling with a bit of loneliness since he works 3rd shift, so I check on him every once in awhile to make sure he's okay.

A couple months back, he and I decided to go on vacation together. He's never left the U.S. so we hopped on a plane and went to Ireland for a week. We tried to keep the trip as quiet as possible so that he wouldn't receive flack for going somewhere with his evil brother, but it seems that someone did some stalking and reported to Mom that he went with me.


Mom apparently confronted Ian asking whether he went. Ian first replied with, "How did you know? I didn't tell anyone." He also went on to express his frustration that whomever had informed Mom did NOT have his best interests in mind.

This was mom's reply. Immediately, she calls Ian's a liar and that he is toxic. Unbelievable.
It shocks me how my mother is quick to disown people. I want to blame the Organization, but honestly, looking back on my mom's relationships with her family, the way my parent's divorce went down and how she treated me the moment I was disfellowshipped - it all makes sense.
She tends to hold a grudge and discard relationships when they're not on her terms.

Kids, this is an e-mail exchange that you and I will NEVER have. No matter how differently our lives may go, I will always have my mother's example to remind me that family will ALWAYS come before religious outlook or lifestyle choices.

Love conquers all.

I feel like I'm losing you and I'm scared.

Once again, I leave this blog neglected. So much has happened in the past two years and none of it seems relevant to what is going on today.

This weekend you kids came over and we sat around the dinner table for some good ol' Mac & Cheese. During our dinner conversation, Brighton, you brought up the comment of how Mom in her personal study made the comment: "It's very unlikely your father is going to survive Armageddon."

I can't tell you how upset that comment made me. I can't believe that your mother would tell you that I am going to die. It's wrong on so many levels since I can't help but think that I'm some sort of temporary person in the kid's minds.

This whole being an unbelieving father while watching you kids be raised in that environment is such a tightrope act. I desperately want to save you from the harm that upbringing causes, but at the same time, I don't want to cause the trauma that comes with learning that what you believe is wrong. A small child shouldn't worry of such things, but I'm finding that I can't just sit back and let things happen. This whole thing scares me terribly.

Amelia is now beginning to ask why I don't serve Jehovah and I feel like the kids are pressing for me to become a Witness because the "end is close". It's amazing the power and influence that teaching has on my kids and it's making it so hard to not want to metaphorically beat whoever is teaching this garbage with a chair.