If love is a battlefield, I'm the holocaust.

A lot has happened over the past couple years. With all the events that have happened, I've never really mentioned much about Danielle. I feel I need to write this as my final goodbye, since she was a very significant person during a very tumultuous part of my life.

What can I say? Well, I wish we had met during better times. I honestly think we both needed each other during the dark transitions we were going through and I think we both were better people in bitter the end. Maybe our relationship was always meant to have a shelf life, I don't know.

I guess I just wanted to say, "thank you". Thank you for sharing your struggles with me. Seeing your
struggles helped put mine in perspective and it taught me a lot about who I am. It really did. Even though we were both pretty broken and worn people, I feel that those two years definitely made us happier. I find it funny how much we had changed physically from when we first met.

Thank you for showing me the world you live in. I now have a better idea of what it means to recover and to persevere through the bad experiences I've had to deal with. I think I'm a more tolerant person to people's plights due to your experience. I won't forget that.

Thank you for being amazing to my children. They still ask about you, even years later. It surfaces a lot of grief when they speak your name, but I have to remember the good that came from it all.

Thank you for being supportive of me when things got really bad. The shame and guilt was too much for me to bear and you tried hard to be patient. I will always remember that I was the one that gave up first.

I guess I also wanted to say sorry. I'm sorry I made a lot of mistakes and I'm sorry we could never seem to get our timing right. Someone was always dealing with something and there were only a few months in-between in all where we were both truly happy. I hurt you one too many times and I wish I hadn't. Maybe, as I feared, I'm just not cut out to care for another when I'm barely enough to care for myself.

One day, I hope to be a better person. One day, I'd like to believe I'll have everything together and this shell of a person I am today will just be a distant memory.

I'm just sorry that you had to be the causality to my own stupidity.

I wish you the peace and happiness you seek, even if it is without me.