Just do it!

Just as a reminder to yourself Nate: The girl is waiting on you. Make your move and just kiss her, ok?

Believe me! With me being you, I am right. A kiss is a small thing to people out here. It's not a big deal, but it makes a huge difference to them.

Plus you've heard it enough times that it must be a scientific fact: Nate, you are an AMAZING kisser!

Just do it and move things along. You'll thank me later...

It's Christmas. What am I supposed to do?

As mentioned up above, it's Christmas. The flurry of Christmas wishes that bombard me on Facebook make me wonder what I am doing. What does a person do on Christmas? Spend the day with loved ones exchanges gifts and best wishes? 

While I am not technically alone today, I do kinda feel it. Today is the first day in a while that I am feeling in limbo over where my life is right now. It's just another holiday that currently has no meaning and I don't know what to do with it.

With me not knowing what I should do, I went upstairs and grabbed a broom and started sweeping some dust bunnies that I notice awhile back. While sweeping, I popped in some music and started to sing. This is it. This will be my new tradition. Singing on Christmas day. Everything else is moot.

I hope that this time next year, I can look back and be proud of the events of 2012. So much has gone wrong this year and it almost makes me cry thinking about it. I will never forget 2011 though.
A year of growth, life lessons learned and mourning.

Today, I think of you kids. I love you all very much and I hope I can be the best father you could ever ask for. While your mother and I believe very different things, I hope that one day you'll appreciate our two perspectives in life and get the BEST of both worlds. (No pun intended)

I love you.

Almost like something from the movies...

I had the chance this past weekend to see Sara again. With it being close to Christmas, her schedule has been a bit wacky, but we managed to meet up on Sunday evening. We met at 8:30PM at this place called the Waterloo in Louisville, CO, which is about 10 minutes from where I live in Broomfield.
What a cute place! It was a small town bar that was charming in its own way. It had a small stage very much like what I had at Cafe.com in Ashland. I guess they have gigs that roll in and out of there and I would love to go back and see how that is.

Sara was again great company. Our conversation flowed very easily and I found her more interesting as the night progressed. I really enjoyed listening to her talk about her days in Venezuela serving as a missionary of sorts, it brought comfort in knowing she understood where I come from as well. I think we both have a lot of similarities that I do find attractive.

After having a drink at the Waterloo, we both decided to walk downtown Louisville a little bit. It actually reminded me a bit of "Radiator Springs" in the Pixar movie "Cars". It was oddly out of place for the area and had a lot of retro feel type stores and bars. Something out of the 50s is the best way I could describe it.

We walked around and talked about various things; life, love, sports...ect. She has a depth to her that I really find interesting. While we were talking, I grabbed her hand and kept her hand warm while we talked. It was odd holding the hand of someone so tall. (Her being 5'11") It completely threw me off. But after a bit, we found our comfortable spot and continued walking.
After doing a big circle of Main street, we got back to her car. Before she could get to her car, I whisked her to a small dark corner and kissed her gently. It was amazing...
It was a kiss to remember since it was that perfect balance of expression, passion with a whole lotta sexual tension. Everything about her body language said she was ready. She wanted me.
The whole thing was horribly romantic. A cold Sunday evening, town quiet with only the Christmas lights to keep us company and nobody to been seen. I couldn't have planned it any better.
We both tried to break away a couple times, but we just kept coming back together. She was wonderful.

After awhile, I let her go and I kissed her hand and bid her goodnight. As she walked away, I realized, I REALLY like this girl.

Sarah and Sara

Things have been going okay for me lately. The holiday season has come upon me and honestly, I don't even notice. I just don't care.
I've filed to get my child support modified in the courts. I feel bad in a small way that I have to do this, but I can say with a clean conscience that I am doing everything I can to take care of my children. If Gretchen doesn't want to work with me on resolving this, then she'll have to be on her own. I hope she is able to step up and do something about her situation.

I found out recently that Steve and Sarah Paul are getting divorced.

I noticed on Bill Drake's Facebook profile that Sarah had responded to one of his updates. However, I noticed that the name was Sarah Drake. Uh oh.
After a couple quick message exchanged with Bill, I found that she and Steve were no longer together. I knew that Steve and Sarah had a LOT of issues. Honestly, I find that is one of the biggest flaws about the doctrine...sometimes things just DON'T work out and people change and there's no room for that.
From what I can gather, when Sarah ended the relationship, she got a lot of flack from the brothers and sisters, which made her decide to leave. While I do mourn the loss of their marriage, I know in the end people have to make decisions that are right for them. Maybe Sarah is doing the right thing, I don't know. Who am I to judge?

I sent a text over to Gretchen expressing my sympathies over losing her friend Sarah. I know they were close. Maybe it wasn't appropriate, but it felt like the right thing to do. While she is no longer my wife, I can't help but feel sorry over her loss.

On another note, I've had the chance to get out and meet more women. This has proven very enlightening and made me realize how much variety there is out there. It's funny how small connections can teach you such big lessons in life and I'm definitely not done learning.

I had a nice first date with a girl named Sara. She's a really nice girl so far and I enjoyed my time with her immensely. She seemed to have a good time too and we'll be meeting up again sometime this week. We'll see what happens...