Just another rant for another day.

Today I'm a little frustrated. Holly, if you are reading this blog, you might not want to continue as it's about you and I'm going to go on a self-authorized rant.



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Maybe I'm being an idiot. Brian and I got into a small verbal tiff the other night talking about this idea of me getting into a possible long distance relationship. He doesn't like them, and that's okay.
But he was insistent on sharing his unsolicited opinions about how it wasn't practical in his eyes and that I probably shouldn't hold my breath. It was just another case of Brian and I disagreeing.

Ironically enough, at that same moment, Holly texted me lamenting on why she was thinking about me. It was nice to talk to this Holly, since her defenses were probably lowered a bit by drink. I've been really wanting more one on one time with her lately since we really only dialogue via Facebook.

Brian mentioned earlier that evening that he was talking to Holly about how "guys don't like talking on the phone." which I thought was silly. But then after thinking about it, Holly and I really only communicate via text and Facebook...which got me thinking:

"Does she think I don't like to talk on the phone?"

As a result, I tried to get Holly to commit to a time to talk on the phone. Her schedule is always all over the place with things going on all the time, but I was happy to hear that I would be able to speak with her while she was driving to Gardiner to see an old friend.
We did talk for a little bit, which was nice but signal loss kinda cut the call a lot shorter than I wanted to. Because of that, we decided that we would talk again on Sunday.

...

Today is Sunday. Around 10am I called Holly just to see when she would have time, but I heard nothing. I feel like I sat around watching the clock wondering when she would call.
There's just nothing worse than seeing the time pass and that it's no longer a matter of "when", but "if" she would call.

She didn't.

Was my day wasted? No. But I do feel really unimportant today. I HATE that feeling.
All I got was silence and that silence was deafening.

I did get a message from Holly tonight on Facebook though. WHY IS IT ALWAYS FACEBOOK? Could I have gotten a call instead? She said her day didn't go as planned and couldn't find time for a call.

I just feel like I'm the only one that feels like this could work and it's irritating me today.

I think I really want this one.

I had my date with Aimee the other night. It was a pleasant time, but in the end without saying it, we both knew it wasn't right and we politely said our goodnights.

I'm still talking with Holly and I really hope this turns into something more. I don't know exactly how things would work, but I'm trying not to sweat the details. I think about her a lot though and it frustrates me that I haven't met someone like her close by.

We've agreed that the next time I go up to see the kids, that we would go out and see if there's further chemistry. I want her in a bad way and its messing with my head.

I remember one time having a conversation with Gretchen about how I'm not a jealous person, but I take that back. I am. When I am emotionally invested in someone, I don't like the idea of them sleeping with ANYONE else, even though we are not committed. I'm still trying to get used to those politics.

This is a good example of why I would be bad at a casual relationship...

A Versa, a girl, a woman and a job.

There's been a lot going on and I haven't really been good about updating, so here we go:

Helen and I didn't work out and never will. She came to visit and we had a nice time getting to know one another again, but in the end of all things, I didn't want it. I sent her a very honest e-mail and I think she understood. She didn't take it nearly as bad as the first time.

My Honda died a painful death, which sucked. The timing was awful since my finances are still a bit shattered, but just as well. I got myself a nice new Nissan Versa which I really do like, so all is not lost. I just have to be REALLY careful with money for the time being.

I've been trying the online dating thing and that's been really frustrating. Such a blow to the ego when you know in person they would respond so much better. I met a girl named Aimee on the rooftop of a friend's apartment building this past weekend. It was her birthday and she was celebrating with friends while I was having beers with the guys. We talked on the roof a bit and she gave me her number to meetup later that evening, but that never panned out.
I asked her out the other night and she agreed, so I'm meeting her in downtown Denver for a shake or something. It should be nice. Though, I'm looking outside and the weather is rather ominous looking...I might have to make a plan B.

I've also started talking to Holly. Holly lives back in Maine, but we met on Facebook through some mutual friends. She's really the full package so far. She's beautiful, smart, articulate, she has a similar background as myself and is just sexy as hell. I really like her.
Last night I spent 3 1/2 hours with her on the phone talking about everything. She's older than I, but we connected very well. I know it sounds crazy since I don't know her, but there's something about her that really consumes my thoughts.

To make my life even more interesting, the company that I work for just got acquired by a BIG company. It's great since there will be a lot more funding to make the necessary expansions we want to and it will likely mean I get a FAT raise. I'll be thrilled if I do. I need it and I want to buy my babies a nice trip.

Love you kids!